If you name your child.

If you name your child, Jessica.
She will be manipulative in some way.
If you name your child, David.
He will be different or unique.
If you name your child, Lucy.
She will be popular and attractive.
If you name your child, James.
He will have sex with more people than average.
If you name your child, Jesus.
He will die for people's sins.
If you name your child, Lucifer.
He will listen to rock 'n' roll.